on what ifs and could have beens

WHAT IF:

I never left the Philippines and carried on with my life in speech pathology and dancing?

the manufacturing company I worked for in Livermore never closed and I didn't have to enter the field of healthcare?

my ex didn't leave me and I carried on with my business at home or pursued medical billing/coding as I initially planned?

I didn't enroll myself in nursing school out of impulse - as my way of getting myself out of depression phase?

What if.

Although I'm sure that in those different parallel realities that could've happened, I'm doing well, I'm still confident that this present universe that I am in right now is far better that the others. Those are the biggest twists that made my life take sharp turns in different directions. These are the moments that took me into depths of confusion and sorrow that made my spirit a great swimmer; broke my heart into pieces, thus making it no longer breakable but malleable. I am now wiser, stronger, and happier.

Those were my crossroads - the string of events that lead me to this present.

Lastly, what if I never fought for my love and just gave up on you? 

It's intruiging but I'm utterly apathetic to see how different it would be if any of these "what ifs" happened.

My answer?

I'm glad they never did.

The sunset sky offered beautiful hues. You told me to look at the view but I couldn't move - I'd rather stare at you.

you are the only paradox that my life fathoms. 

you are the madness that keeps me alive. 

you are my serene place where minds can sleep.

i will never run out of poetry for you

my heart breathes words at the sight of you


your eyes transcending beauty


your lips soft and shiny


your voice speaking innocence and maturity


i love the silly


i love the witty


i love the sweet


i love the bold and honest you


my heart breathes words


as i think of you


i will never run out of poetry


no, not for you

you never stop being beautiful. seriously.

i'm so in love right now, that it's hurting my brain. the sight or even just the thought of you is blissfully breathtaking.

xmts :3

Si Hayao Miyazaki ay nakilala sa mga animated movies niya dahil sa kakaibang mga istorya at husay ng focus niya sa mga detalye. 

Hindi siya yung tipikal na kartunista lang na basta nagkukwento gamit ang mga drawing. In fact, sinabi niya sa isang interview dati na hindi siya nagsusulat ng isang buong screenplay para sa pelikula - hinahayaan niya ang pelikula na dumaloy lang at ilantad ang sarili nito nang kusa at malaya.

Naisip ko itong story natin.

We decided to just go with it, no labels or what so ever that will define what we really are to each other. We could be anything. Ang alam ko lang, mahal kita at sabi mo rin naman mahal mo ako. Anything else from that, wala na tayong kasiguraduhan which I think is good. That means every new day is another adventure. Mas okay na siguro yung hindi ako sigurado kung bukas mahal mo pa ako para everyday I will fight for it. 

CHEESEBALLS!

Pero syemps, as much as I want assurance, I want you to realize that we both are strong enough to live without each other but at the same time I'm still hoping that you'd still choose to keep me as I tell myself everyday that no matter how difficult this could become, I will always choose to love you.

Just like the Miyazaki films, wala tayong definitive na screenplay. Hahayaan lang natin ang lovestory natin na dumaloy at ilantad ang sarili nito nang kusa at malaya. 

listening to the same beat; moving forward to the same feat.

#pagibig

nais kong mahiga sa tabi mo at pagmasdan kang mapayapang nahihimbing. handa akong manatiling mulat habang malayang naglalakbay ang iyong sapantaha sa alapaap ng masasaya nating pangarap at mga alaala. mataimtim at malugod na babantayan ang iyong mayuming pagtulog, kawangis ng rosas na kalangitang pinintahan ng araw na papalubog; ang maliit na siwang ng iyong magandang bibig. bibilangin ang bawat butil ng pekas sa iyong mukha habang ibinubulong sa iyo ang pangakong walang bilang ang tutumbas sa aking pagibig. marahan kang hahagkan sa noo kasabay ng pag-usal sa hangin ng aking panalanging di na sana magwakas ang ating gabi. at kung magwakas man, ang nais kong unang matikman sa pagsibol ng panibagong umaga ay ang matamis mong mga labi. ikaw ang hamog na didilig sa kaparangan at ako ang mga dahong nabubuhay sa iyong kagandahan. ikaw ang masiglang pagsikat ng araw at ako ang mga ibong magigising sa ngiti mong nakakasilaw.

ikaw ang una, huli, at gitna. ako ang wakas, ang gita, at ang simula.

sa piling mo, mahal ko, walang araw at walang gabi.

ikaw. ako. tayo.

walang saysay ang magbilang ng oras, kapag ikaw ay katabi.