shit happens

bale ang buhay raw kasi ay punung-puno ng trahedya. wagas na wagas sa mga kabullshitang susubok sa tibay ng iyong pagkatao. may mga personal na trahedya tulad ng pagkabigo sa pagibig, pagkamatay ng isang minamahal, pagkirot ng namamagang ingrown at kung anu-ano pang shit. may mga trahedya naman ding may pangmalawakang perwisyo sa lipunan tulad ng bagyo, lindol, terorismo at ang pagupo sa pwesto ng dating pangulong si arroyo.

pano nga ba yung matiwasay at nasa ayos naman ang lahat tapos one moment, biglang gumuho, naglaho at nagkagulo-gulo ang lahat? napakahirap ata i-angkop ang sarili mo sa panibagong na namang sistema. para kang yung laruang lego na dagling nakalas at bubuuin muli para maging kung anumang kinakailangan. pwede ka biglang maging robot na aso. sasabay sa kumpas ng bagong sistema. mapapalitan ang tagpi ng doggie. mapapalitan ang aw-aw ng arf-arf.

sit, roll over, play dead.

darating sa punto na parang ayaw mo na lang magpatuloy. gusto mo na lang sumuko. o kaya maghintay kung biglang may darating na superhero. pero ano nga bang magpapanatili sayo para mag-fetch at magwagayway ng buntot? anong baterya ang magpapatakbo sa natitigang mong enerhiya? anong pipigil sayo para humiga na lamang at huminto sa paghinga?

bakit nga ba tayo nadadapa?

upang bigyang kahulugan ang salitang tingala. bangon. pagasa. upang magkakalyo at maiukit ng mga sugat ang mga aral sa ating mga palad (malas mo lang kung sa mukha ka napuruhan). pero anu bang silbi ng pagsubok kung hindi ka susubok lalaban di ba? kaya nga pagsubok di ba? hindi naman sinabing pagsuko. vice ganda?

putangina mo kang pagsubok ka ha! pakshet ka! die, bitch, die! burn in hell!

shit happens, pare. but so does beauty and kilig moments! minsan lang talaga, inevitable talaga ito na sa landas ng buhay, hindi mo maiiwasang makatapak ng tae. walang simbolism yun, pampahaba lang ng blog entry. pero kung makatapak ka man, ikaskas mo na lang sa lupa.

pagibig. hindi lang yung basta chuva-chuchung pagibig o yung ahensyang nagpapabahay. ang tinutukoy ko ay pagibig in general. ito ang gasolinang nagpapatakbo sa damdamin ng bawat tao. pagibig. maging sa sarili man, sa pamilya, sa kapatid, sa shota o kay adam levine. pagibig ang magpapanatiling buhay sa mga pangarap mo. pagibig ang nagbibigay lakas. pagibig ang nagbibigay pagasa. parang Gatorade with advanced electrolyte system - it keeps you going.

is it in you?

the big picture

you know that moment when an artist moves a little backward just to see the beauty of the whole picture? because when the artist is too close, he's seeing just a part of it which may be really superb but still, it's just a portion of a whole wonderful thing. when you see a beautiful flower. you come close to it, smell it, touch it and enjoy every detail of it. yes, it is pretty but what about the whole garden? you remember the story of hansel and gretel? they were amazed by this house made of candies without even thinking there were also in the middle of this creepy forest.

my only point is this: always try to look at the big picture. do not focus on the little portions of it. oh you're stressed because you didn't pass the finals exam and you don't know how to tell your mom. step back, look at around your room. cameras, photographs on the wall, photography magazines. does that look like you're really gonna pass anatomy and physiology 101? yeah, your girlfriend may be pretty and smart and funny but she's also a bitch. she's a slut but you don't know that because you only see the good things about her. yeah, i know you're hurt, you're boyfriend dumped you and now you're all depressed and shit. you think you can't move on because he left you and you love him so much and you don't know what to do with your life anymore. bitch, you're not even eighteen. you're young and pretty and all that. you're gonna meet much more better guys than him. take a quick look at the big picture, there he is doing you a big favor of leaving you and not ruining your life.

at first i didn't know i could write a whole blog entry in english. then i realized my ex girlfriend was african-american, my partner at work is white. my grammar may be bad but still i was speaking english. so... what the hell was i thinking?

so back to the artist. he had to move back not just to see the whole picture he was painting but also to make sure there is balance and life in his work.