Today, I am promising this to myself:
I will shut the fuck up now about this stupid heartbreak of mine and will never even think of this again.
I still respect my ex and her choices no matter how fucked up things turned out to be. She had her reasons that she and some people may believe are valid. Don't hate her just because I am suffering deeply. Despite the fact that I'm in a deep mess inside, trust me, I understand. Let's just leave it at that.
But with that being said, I am not doing this out of my respect for her. I'm doing this (yes, finally) for myself - my own sanity. I need to start really fixing my own damn self. I'd be bullshiting y'all if I say I am okay because I really am not. The thing about having a good sense of humor is that you get to hide your real emotions pretty damn good. Your real friends will understand your own brand of sarcasm but that is also the thing - I don't have a lot of those. But that's fine. I apologize if I did cut a lot of people out (especially when I shut my facebook account down) or if I'm building a wall too damn high. I am just so done with bullshit and flakers to just let anyone into my life. My depression is getting worse and all I need right now is a little bit more dosage of peace. That's why I'm starting over again, with myself.
I'm gonna keep that promise.
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